thought of the week: you are the answer

Last night I sat across from a sobbing friend. I searched for the right words to help her, to make her feel better. She doubted her worth, her value to anyone. I told her she was incredible, smart and wonderful, but she was crumpled inside, unsure of her next step and wondering what her purpose in life was. I tried to tell her that it would be OK, that she would find her purpose. It would happen. I didn't know what else to say that didn't sound patronizing.

I laid awake last night thinking about her, about the ennui that she feels, that most of us have felt at one time or another when nothing was terrible (no health/love/family crisis) but it all still felt sad and it didn't feel like things would ever be different. (It doesn't help that the spring has been so rainy and cold so far).

My friend, this is for you.

You are a gift.

You are a gift to me and to the little one. You are a gift to anyone lucky enough to know you. You are smart and witty and kind.

I know that you have worked hard your entire life to be the kind of girl who will change the world. You just completed a massive goal in life and I get that you feel let down that life hasn't been this dream that you hoped but life unfolds in its own time. All the hard work you have put in will pay off. Every time you chose to do the right thing will be worth it.

And when the time comes, the magic will happen, it all will come together because you are the answer to someone else's prayer. You will be exactly the person, the only person who is the  perfect fit. There is no one else and had you settled, as you wonder now if you should, you would have missed out on the most amazing part of your life which is about to unfold. Even now, every day that you are on this planet, you are the answer--in the kindness shown to a barista when they have been berated by a customer or the person you flagged to go ahead of you in traffic who felt defeated- you are light. You are the answer to "Aren't there any decent people in this world?"

Don't settle for something because you're not sure if you are worth more. You are. There is a person/company/friend out there whose life will be changed evermore because of you. There is someone right now who doesn't know that his or her life is about to change for the better because you walked in.

Have faith, my friend. Hold tight onto the vision of what you want your life to be. In the meantime, work your body and your body. Sweat, cry, eat healthy, move your body. Keep putting yourself out there.  Do the work, make the connections, practice self-care, keep your winning streak going. Nothing will change if you just stop because you don't think you can achieve your goal. That isn't an option. You don't quit a marathon at mile 23.

I promise you this: the sun will come out (really, it will) and one day, not far from now you will gaze out at the sunrise and sigh in the pure pleasure of what your life has become.