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Tuesday, July 2, 2019

Your own kind of happy

One of my girlfriends texted me and asked "I should want to get married, right?"

Me: "I don't know. Do you WANT to get married?" I called her. This was phone call worthy, not text worthy.

Friend: "God, no. I mean he's terrific but not in a forever-I-will-make-you-meatloaf-every-week kind of way."

Me: "Then you may want to put a pause on the whole marriage thing. Why are you asking me this? Is he about to propose?"

Friend: "I hope not but it seems like everyone is engaged and having kids and I'm just really happy being by myself and dating. My mother thinks I should get a cat or something to start. I don't get it."

That's the thing. Our parents, friends and every sometimes ourselves, we think we should do something or like something or want this thing that supposedly everyone wants. I don't agree with this. I think it's perfectly OK to not want to get married or have kids or pursue a career because someone else thinks this is what your life's path is.

If you want to get married or have kids or move to a tiny beach town in another country or adopt a pair of elderly dogs or pursue your own career that maybe is't what your parents dreamed of for you but will make you feel happy, do it. Do it for YOU, though, not because you think you should or you were programmed since childhood to do something.

You are the only one who can determine what brings you happiness. What is it that would make you jump out of bed every morning, looking forward to the day? Close your eyes and imagine your life one year from now. Do you feel happy or are you anxious? What are you doing? Who are you with? Now open your eyes. Wherever you are in your life, you have the power to make yourself happy. It's there for you.

So, accept the ring or don't accept the ring. Go back to school. Design jewelry. Reconnect with God. Move into a smaller space that better your suits who you are. Look for a different job that you're happy to go to every day.  Volunteer to walk dogs at the no-kill shelter. Paint. Skate. Start a family. Whatever it is, start moving towards your happy today.

Sometimes starting can be the hardest part but sometimes it can be the very best.

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