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Monday, February 17, 2020

thought for the week February 17, 2020

It's an unfortunate part of life but there will be times when things will go so wrong because of someone else that it's impossible not to think of some horrible fate to come down on them. I've been there. I've had those thoughts of revenge. It didn't feel fair that things could go so wrong in my world and yet the person who I felt caused me the pain, felt nothing,

The problem with this kind of thinking, however, is that the only person it affects is you. The person who did you wrong, who took your promotion or boyfriend or parking space doesn't feel a thing. They have most likely forgotten about you. By thinking about them and plotting revenge, you're not letting the story end. When you keep replaying something in your head, you strengthen the neural pathways carrying those memories and you just make them stronger.

This is the exact opposite of what you want. Whoever has wronged you, misaligned your life plan or in some way has made you angry, doesn't matter anymore. Let it go. The best revenge is to focus on your life and your decisions going forward. Let them be them. Wish them well if you can. It may seem impossible at the moment to wish someone well when they made your life hell, but I've done this and the weight of holding a grudge is too heavy of a weight to bear. Banish them and what they have done to you from your mind. Focus on living your own happy life. Every time they pop into your head, change the path. Recite a song lyric, say the alphabet backwards. Do whatever you have to do to stop the thoughts that don't serve to move your life forward.

Maybe not now, but I promise someday when they pop into your head, you won't feel sad or angry. Maybe, just maybe you'll wonder if they are now as happy as you.

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