insights: seriously, a silver lining?

It is raining out again.

Raining so hard that is is pouring sideways and even the dog is looking up at the skylight wondering what that thunderous pounding is.

It's day 57 of rain or at least that is what it feels like-rain, mist, drizzle, grey, wet, damp weather here in Seattle. I thought of that old saying about there being a silver lining behind every cloud. What the hell does that mean? And why is a silver lining good? Unless there are shiny silver coins raining down upon me for me to gather, a silver lining just connotes more gloom and grey. I think that saying should be abolished.

Instead I prefer "Behind every cloud is a bright blue sky." Because this is actually true.

I used to fly out every Friday morning at 7am for LA or London or wherever and while it would be raining/pouring on takeoff, we would rise through the wind and the rain and the fog and the clouds and break through to a brilliant blue sky with the sun bouncing off the silver tipped wings of the plane.

I'm trying to think of that now as I look outside at the wind and the nonstop evil weather here in the Northwest lately and I'm imagining the bright blue sky and the sun. They are still there, as they always have been. What has changed is my perception of them. It's like a toddler who believes if they can't see their parent then the parent is not there.

Another A-ha moment for me.

Just because I can't see or feel the sun doesn't mean it isn't there.

Just because I can't see or feel my happiness doesn't mean it isn't there.

The happy that I had in my soul is still there. It is just clouded over with all the bad stuff that has happened in the past 16 months. If I let go of the bad stuff and it dissolves away, it's like the clouds moving on and sun shining again.

I'm looking out the window at this miserable, depressing day outside and if I can imagine that the sun is just beyond the clouds and still shining then I can imagine that inside me is the happy that I had. It's still there just waiting for the clouds to part. It's. Still. There.

I'm ready for some bright blue sky. Aren't you?