Monday, September 24, 2018

thought for the week: about wishful thinking


For as long as I can remember, I've wanted a little place by the sea, a small cottage where family and friends come could stay with us and make memories (now with Waverly!). My favorite times growing up were spent at the beach with my family. Pink sunburned cheeks, freckles, Pert shampoo, Skeeball, fudge, starfish, salt air and feeling secure and happy as I fell asleep to the sound of grownups laughing on the deck amidst the backdrop of waves. I realize now how much I want that for our daughter. With Waverly's birth, it's a dream that is stronger than ever. 

What's your dream? Going back to school? Having a family? Getting your dream job? Finding a partner? Learning a new hobby? Do it. Make every effort to put that dream into action. Don't let another day pass without doing something that will move you towards your goal.

If you aren't moving forward, what is it that is stopping you? Are people telling you that your dream isn't rational? Do you doubt yourself? Throughout my life when I have doubted a goal that I have, I have said "Now isn't the time. We can't afford it. I would like to lose weight first. Maybe it's not meant to be. Maybe it'll never happen." I tend to doubt myself. I overanalyze situations. Here is something I have learned: there is no right time. 

There is no perfect time to have a baby or start a business or make any other dream you have a reality.  If you choose it, you can always find a reason to prevent your goal from becoming yours. I have a girlfriend who wants a family. She's single and amazing. She'd make the perfect mother but she has put off motherhood because it wasn't a good time. She wasn't married. She wanted to focus on her job. She didn't have enough money saved. Then when she realized that she may missed her window she thought about adoption but then thought it took too much time and money. This weekend I told her "If you want to be a mother, you will move heaven and earth to make this happen. There is a child  out there who has no idea that his life is going to be full of more love than he can even imagine because you are going to be his mother. Forever, you will be his mother." I just got a text from her. This morning she called a lawyer. She's on her path from wishful thinking to motherhood. 

I realize that by not pursuing my goal, it's the easy way out. It's the lazy way. I can continue to tell myself that "It isn't reasonable" or after I post this, I can call realtor in Massachusetts who can help us find that little cottage. I don't know how it's going to happen. Maybe we'll find that diamond in the rough that needs a little love. What I do know is that when I close my eyes I see L, Wave and I laughing and holding hands as we walk into our little cottage after a day by the sea. That isn't wishful thinking. It's a first step. 

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