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Wednesday, November 27, 2019

how to make the worst mashed potatoes

Let me start by saying that this is not a picture of the potatoes in question. The worst potatoes I ever made were so awful that we had each taken a few bites and then we had to get the bowl off the table and far away from us. It was that bad. Even the baby refused more than one bite.

I am known for making the best mashed potatoes. Literally. The best. The kind that you can't stop eating. Except this time I tried something new. Waverly isn't a fan of chunky food so I thought I would smartly blend up some mashed potatoes in a blender, rather than a ricer. I still bought Yukon Gold and peeled them the same way. I cooked them the same way but here is when things went off the rails. Instead of mashing them with a fork or putting the potatoes through a ricer as I usually do, I decided to throw them in the Vitamix along with butter and milk. I pulsed them together for about 45 seconds but what I ended up with is hard to describe.

When I dolloped the mashed potatoes on the plate they looked super glossy and smooth. Then L and I each took our first bite and it was indescribably bad. The potatoes were smooth but gluey. They had a puffy but oily consistency. It didn't taste like food. l looked at L and said, "I have no idea. These are terrible. Done." I scraped the potatoes into the disposal.

After dinner, I Googled what went wrong. Apparently when you blitz the potatoes in a blender, the starch molecules are torn and when mixed with the liquid (milk + butter) you get the inedible gluey mix. To make the perfect mashed potatoes, work the potatoes as little as possible, and whatever you do, do not put them in a mixer.

For the ultimate mashed potatoes,  try this recipe from Bon Appetit.

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