Thursday, May 6, 2010

insights: god reads my blog?

I have a friend who is upset with me.

She thinks my blog post about Breaking Up With God is wrong.

"What if God reads it?" she asked.

I felt a laugh bubble up and couldn't stifle it. What if God reads my blog and is upset with me for posting that I broke up with Him?

Well, if God has to read my blog in order to find out that I was angry at him for sending me a year's worth of 'plagues' then I think we all have to rethink this whole religion thing and God's reach.

Somehow I have a feeling that God heard me when I was standing outside that one night looking up at the heavens and said "God, I've really had enough. You're not listening. You're mean to me. I can't take this anymore. I can't even talk to you anymore. Why should I believe in you? A relationship with you is pointless!"

As I stomped back inside I like to think that God got the point and He realized that this time I meant business. I was through with my relationship with Him.

I've taught Sunday school. I wore a Catholic school uniform long enough to learn how to make it look cool (Roll up the skirt. Black boots.). I've been in a long-term relationship with God and His whole family. I know all about God and I know that God heard me when I was outside under the stars ranting at Him.

However, I believe in a forgiving God. I know that He knows me well enough to just let me get angry about the hell (so to speak) that He kept sending me (or so I thought He was behind the whole thing.)

As my previous post said, I did some soul searching and a lot of thinking about our relationship. I missed Him when I stubbornly decided I would no longer talk to Him and I came to the conclusion that it wasn't Him, it was me. And He was a big enough guy to welcome me back.

But if He's reading my blog then I think I hit the mother lode of visitors. So, God, if you're reading this, thanks for making yesterday OK and if I could ask for one favor? Maybe a little sunshine please? And a baby would be really nice too.

(ps. to my friend who was looking out for God's feelings, I think we're good now and God says "Hi. You're welcome for that great guy you're dating. He's a keeper.")

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